7 Tips To Help Young Teens Navigate Social Media

We have learned a lot of negative things about social media, but it is very hard for parents to effectively ban a young teen with a smartphone from using social media.  Parents can restrict kids’ data plans, but kids can still use Wi-Fi. Or they can use their friends’ phones. Plus, trying to ban social media can just make it more attractive and tempting to kids.  A much better strategy may be to educate your kids on how to use social media in a safe and responsible way.

Parents should teach children to be mindful of their interactions and online behavior so they have positive and safe online profiles.  This includes teaching them how to keep their accounts private, how not to over-share online or create a misleading online identity, how to spot potentially dangerous or risky connections, and how to communicate appropriately online.   

Here are seven things for parents to keep in mind as they talk to their child about social media use. 

1. Minimum Age.  Children must be 13 or older to sign up for social media accounts.  That is the law, and kids below that age should not be on social media. But even some 13-year olds may not be ready for the responsibilities of social media use.  If you think your kid isn’t ready, you should tell them and perhaps set some goals that they would have to meet to show they are ready. 
2. Do Your Research.  If parents are not already users of the social media platforms their kids want to use, they should become users and take the time to learn and understand the purposes and features of the platforms.  This means that even if a parent is already a user, if they do not already know, they should thoroughly familiarize themselves with all features and functions of the platforms their kids want to use. Parents should discuss with their child what each platform does, who uses the platform, how it is used, and what pages and services it has.  This may better equip a child to make good decisions about what to say and how to say it, as well as to avoid certain pages or services. 
3. Private Accounts Only.  Tell your kids that their accounts must be private not public, and that they should accept only friend requests or follow requests from people they know. Ask them to let you know if they keep getting requests from strangers.
4. Follow Your Kids (and Their Friends).  Tell your child that you are going to follow their accounts and their friends’ social media accounts.  Then actually do what you said and see what your child and their friends are posting. Try to figure out if their friends are age appropriate and posting about age appropriate subjects. Give them room, but stay aware.
5. No Secret Passwords. Ideally parents should know their child’s passwords. But kids may feel this is an invasion of their privacy, and they may not want to share their passwords.  If your child feels this way, you can probably learn what you need to know by monitoring your child’s and their friends’ posts on a regular basis and discussing with them anything you see that is inappropriate. 
6. Manage Usage. Social media is designed to engage its users, but it should not be an all-day activity.  Establish limits on social media usage even if  active parental enforcement of those limits may be difficult.  At least you will have discussed how social media intentionally entices persistent use and why there is a need for self-imposed limits.  
7. Encourage Constructive Use of Social Media. Help your child find peers online who share their interests or post about things they are interested in.  If your child wants to learn more about particular subjects, there may also be experts who are posting about those topics.